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Ask yourself these questions

If you had only one more day to live, would you have feelings of regret about the way you lived your life?     

As a life coach, I can see how many people live repeating the same patterns that keep them from living a fuller life. But they may not recognize it or be aware of what they are missing. Ask yourself some questions to see if you are in a holding pattern and denying yourself a real life.

1. Are you in perpetual achiever mode?

Much of the cultural thinking about people in the United States is based upon their achievements. This implants the belief in many of us that if we are not achieving, we are not worthy human beings. Ask yourself if your drive to achieve occupies too much of your time and energy. Do you have a balance between work, rest and having fun?

2. Are you glued to your to-do list?

Some people are on it 24/7. Of course, you will have a nice long list when you die, so where do you draw the line?

If you are bringing a list to bed with you or checking it all day, you might be spending too much time on it.

Are you so focused on your to-do list that you are forgetting to “do” things that are just fun?

3. Do you have “stuff” that you never use?

The question you need to ask yourself is “why am I keeping this stuff, and when am I going to get rid of it?”

Boldly face your unconscious beliefs about your stuff that you don’t use. “I might need that someday.” “I might wear that again.”

If you haven’t used it in two years, you can probably give it away, and never miss it. Go for the gold, and get rid of all your borderline “stuff.”

4. Is there a relationship in your life that needs repair?

Fix it now while you are both alive.  

A coach or therapist can help mend bad feelings, put old resentments to rest and negotiate new boundaries for healthier interactions.

5. Do you have money that you will never spend?

Are you wearing the old hiking boots until they’re falling apart, instead of getting a new pair? Will you die with money in the bank that could have afforded you some small pleasures and basic necessities?

6. Have you ever spent a whole day doing only things you love to do?

How much time during the week do you spend doing the things you absolutely love to do, without bringing your to-do list, and not trying to achieve anything?

Are there things you dream about doing that you never do? If taking an entire day just for you sounds hard–that’s exactly what you need to do. You may be glad to see how good it feels.

Don’t wait to take a look at your life. Now is the time to make changes. On your last day would you rather say “I’m glad I stayed on top of that list?” or “I’m grateful I had all that time with my son?”  

Start now.

Think of three statements you would like to make at the end of your life and begin living your life that way!

 Brooke Loening is a business and personal coach who works in Sharon. More of his articles are on his website: www.theloeningplan.com. He can be contacted at bloening@snet.net.

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