News of Very Narrow Interest

“Judge not, lest ye be judged”. “I’m not judging you”. “Don’t be judgmental”.

Houston, we have a problem.” Running out of oxygen 200,000 miles from earth? That’s a problem. Refilling your water glass at a restaurant? Not so much. So what’s the problem? Unless they ran out of water the problem is there is no problem.

The bravery shown by Prince Harry and Meghan Markle as they speak out about the heavy burden imposed on them by the British royal family has given me the courage to do something I’ve been secretly contemplating for a long time. I’ve decide to give up my commoner status and become a royal.

There’s nothing unusual about asking for a recommendation when contemplating a home project or something needs servicing. What I find interesting is that the response is often couched in language strongly implying that they have the absolute best plumber, electrician, contractor … whatever, and you would be crazy to consider using anyone else.

‘A mixing bowl shouldn’t chip after using it once.” This tinny whine was met by my wife’s verbal dope slap informing me that chips are part of life, get over it. “But it’s imported from England”. Surely, this upscale tidbit would lend the appropriate gravitas to justify my indignation. She was unmoved.

My name is Elsie and I am a 4-year-old Labrador Retriever. I realize that this may sound callous and tone deaf, but I am living the dream. This is a golden age for canine companions or, for the unenlightened, pets. I know I’m lucky. I’ve heard some loose talk about the terrible fate of animals left behind during Hurricane Katrina.

America has always had a complicated relationship with freedom. The comments in 1954 of Howard Mumford Jones, American intellectual, critic, and professor, are eerily prescient in 2020:

“While it is true that we in this nation remain free to be idiotic, it does not necessarily follow that we must be idiotic in order to be free!”

My time has come. Unfortunately, it took a global pandemic to make it happen. 

Social-distancing, sheltering-in-place, self-quarantine. We now have a name for what apparently has been my lifestyle. I like being at home. I really don’t enjoy traveling. Vacations? Like fresh fish, I’m good for three days.