Seeking help while paying it forward

NORTH CANAAN — At her sprawling old home, Tania Currier has five extra bedrooms. They are almost never empty. For the past 10 years, she has rented out beds to a succession of men, and then women, who needed a safe haven, a bridge, a second chance. In all, about 125 people have come to the big white Colonial at the corner of Ashley Falls Road and North Elm Street. Now, Currier needs help to continue helping people. A grateful “family” and community are finding ways to do so.The women come from near and far, from addiction treatment, abusive relationships, divorce and financial difficulties. Their age ranges from the mid-20s to the mid-50s. Pressed to give a name to what she does, Currier describes it as a women’s boarding house. She does this because she knows what it’s like to hit bottom, and to live out of one’s car. She knows the simple, caring, tough love approach that can make all the difference.“Sometimes they come with just the clothes on their back and no way to pay the rent, and that’s one reason why we’re here.”Most are referrals, and Currier conducts interviews, mainly so it is clearly understood what is expected.“I help them rebuild their lives They stay for a few months to a couple of years; as long as it takes to get through a divorce, clean up their credit, get a job and the ability to rent their own place.”Currier was able to buy the house with her then-husband. When a plan to rezone part of the property to allow commercial development fell through, the former owner offered to hold the financing on the home.Now, Currier is there with her 9-year-old son, who is autistic. A happy outcome of the boarding house is that the constant coming and going of people has helped him deal with issues of change and socialization.There are no state subsidies, but there are house rules. What it all comes down to is Currier giving folks a second chance while teaching them survival skills.The skills are about taking care of oneself, body and soul. Everyone helps with household chores and preparing meals. Everyone is expected to keep the bedrooms neat and the beds made, every day. “There needs to be routine and structure,” Currier said. “Sometimes all they need is a little focus, peace and time.”Everyone has to get a job. Those legitimately unable to work have to do at least 25 hours of community volunteer work per week. Everyone volunteers to some extent. To help them keep those jobs and get back on top of things, Currier holds teaching sessions on time management, budgeting, meal planning.“A basis of problems for many is that they never learned these skills, or never used them. It takes practice. They may not be in the habit of talking to others about what they’re feeling. They might have been raised, or are coming from a relationship, where they had no emotional support. I tell them its OK to say you feel anxious or scared.”They work on relationships within the household. They are encouraged to act as a family. It makes for a loving environment and develops coping skills. They learn about how damaging gossip can be.“I tell them, these are your sisters. You don’t have to like them, but you do have to live with them, and maybe love them.”The minimal rent they pay does not cover all of the household expenses. In addition to running and maintaining the boarding house, Currier works part-time jobs, such as substitute teaching. She does most of the maintenance and repair work.A year ago, she shattered an ankle. It has been a tough road back. She can work again, but climbing ladders and such to do much-needed repairs has been tough. The house looks fine from the outside, she agreed, but old walls and ceilings and infrastructure are a problem, and she has fallen well behind on projects.Her boarders organized a recent fundraiser, with live bands playing at Caddie Shack, and a silent auction for prizes donated by about 30 local businesses. The money raised will go toward fuel costs for the coming winter. Currier said they will stay true to their philosophy of paying it forward, and donate 10 percent to a local or state fuel bank. She could not be more grateful for the support of her “family” and the community. Her boarding house is not registered as a nonprofit, and she does not want to take hand-outs on a regular basis. Her approach is part of the example she is trying to set.On Saturday, Oct. 8, beginning at 9 a.m., the household will hold a tag sale at the home.

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