The Bladder Joke and Other Funny Things

    When a well-loved basketball coach and mentor dies, five of his former charges decide to have a reunion weekend after the funeral. This means the audience of “Grown Upsâ€� gets to hang out with Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade and Rob Schneider for a film that is officially listed at 102 minutes — but certainly seems like forever.

   The film was written by Sandler and Fred Wolf, and stars a bunch of Sandler’s pals playing, well, Sandler’s pals.

   As the allegedly grown men and their families get busy at their lakeside weekend retreat, we get the lowdown on what the guys have become — Marcus (Spade), is an aimless drifter; Chris Rock’s Kurt is a henpecked husband; Lenny (Sandler) is a Hollywood agent with a fashion designer wife (Salma Hayek) and horrifically spoiled kids; Schneider plays Rob, a trophy husband and sex fiend married to the older Gloria (Joyce Van Patten).

   And let’s not forget the comic catalyst, Eric. Played by Kevin James, he’s a furniture salesman with a chronically weak bladder and a wife with some kind of hang-up about breastfeeding.

   Well, golly.

   Put all those elements together and hilarity must ensue, right?

  Not really, unless your idea of wit is the flatulence of a mother-in-law. And they really get a lot of mileage out of the bladder thing, with not one but four pee jokes.

(Rest assured — there are poop jokes, too.)

   Of the non-Sandler comics, Schneider gets the most out of his setup.  He is truly an obscure object of desire, with his silly hair and goggling, fish-like expression.

   The rest, including Sandler, slog through the unfunny, tedious material, which has at its core the tension between being a potty humor kind of guy on the one hand, and trying to be a responsible father on the other.

   Which could be amusing in more competent hands. But director Dennis Dugan’s  “Grown Upsâ€� comes off as an uninspired and slapdash way to make a few bucks over the July 4 holiday weekend. And, let’s be honest, some cast members were probably glad to have the work.

   I’ll bet these comedians, who have talent to spare, had a lot more fun making this film than the audience has watching it.

    “Grown Upsâ€� is an exploitation film trapped by the conventions of a dumb summer comedy. Any of the repugnant story lines could have been pursued in nauseating depth and turned this flick into one of the great  ghastly masterpieces of schlock.

   Or the director and screenwriter could have just piled the gags on top of each other, leaving the viewer with little time to think about how dopey it all is.

   But no. The film’s slack pace makes it easy to consider the previous joke carefully while waiting through the setup for the next comic turn.

   In Summary: Urination jokes galore. Popeyed expression on Rob Schneider. Feeble racial jests aimed at Chris Rock. The ever-important issue of breastfeeding, with visual accompaniment. Poop. Do old people have sex? The possibility of bestiality, clouded only by a drunk’s faulty memory.

Get it? Ahahahaha.

   “Grown Upsâ€� is rated PG-13 for crude material, suggestive references, language and male nudity.

  It is playing at the Moviehouse in Millerton, NY, and elsewhere.

 

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