A paper airplane - and a single lapse in judgment

In my early high school years I was a model student, for the most part. I got my homework in, was on time for class, and did not make trouble. But there was that one time …

When the teacher did not show up for class, the room was pandemonium. I would usually just watch the fun, but this one time they were winging paper airplanes around the room and one landed on my desk.

“Throw it Abrams! Throw it!�

How could I not? I zipped it across the room.

Now, my seat was customarily first or second in the row by the door (alphabetic seating).This meant that the throw was across the room toward the window seats. My plane caught an updraft and lofted out of the window, landing on the front lawn in front of the assistant principal, who happened to be outside at the time.

Back in those days, the authority figures were very authoritarian. They seemed to think that any transgression, no matter how minor, would be the hole in the dike. Movies like “Rebel Without a Cause� and “Blackboard Jungle� had them scared to death.

In charged Mr. Braun, all fuss and feathers. “Who threw that airplane?�

u      u      u

As a young man I was always taught to respect women, shoot straight and speak the truth.  There was only one woman in our class, and she was absent that day (we were pre-engineering, primarily a male thing in those days), and I didn’t have my gun (a Red Ryder BB Gun with a compass in the stock and a thing that tells time), so I was left with truth. I stood up, and to my everlasting confusion, so did two other guys.  Aha! I thought.  Now they will never be able to figure out who did it. Clearly three of us could not have thrown the same plane.

The three of us picked up papers outside the school for the next week, in full, humiliating view of our peers. The punishment was not a testament to our true rebel natures, but rather a badge of stupidity for getting caught. The other two guys kind of gave me the “stink eyeâ€� from time to time, too.

Years later I would learn to use the Bart Simpson Defense for similar situations: deny, deny, deny. I learned, like the kids in “A Christmas Story,� that it is always better to not get caught. I probably could have lived with the paper airplane guilt without too much scarring of my psyche. The fact that I have not completely forgotten the incident is evidence that ‘fessing up is what did the real damage.

Bill Abrams resides (and flies paper airplanes) in Pine Plains.

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