Late Christmas

Here’s a real money-saving tip just in time for the holidays! It  is my idea that Christmas would work a lot better if we (you and I, that is, not all those others) celebrated it about a week later. The date is really kind of arbitrary anyway, especially when you consider the fact that we changed calendars back in the 18th century, moving all the dates, I forget which way. Migratory species must have gone crazy.

Advantages to moving Christmas back are:

• You could get a live tree for free. People put them out by the curb and don’t care if you take them. Some still have icicles and an ornament or two.

• Shopping is less expensive and less confusing. Everything is on sale (especially wrapping paper) as the stores try to divest themselves of excess inventory, especially gift items. There is not much selection, many styles being sold out, so choosing a gift is much easier. Christmas cards and candy canes are really cheap.

• When giving your gifts they will stand out. All that other stuff that your stuff gets lost in the middle of, will already be a thing of the past. Your gift will be the only one that is new and will have far more impact. No one will forget who it is from, either. The kids will have broken most of what they got so your gift will look really good about now.

• Some of the stuff that you got for Christmas, but did not want or can’t use, can now be recycled as gifts for other people. A substantial savings.

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• If you go visiting, all the other relatives have gone back home by now, so you won’t have to put up with your drunken uncle or his bratty kids.

• You will be a real hero at work as you will be one of the few people actually working during Christmas week while everyone else is out celebrating.

• All of those charities that hit you up around Christmas will be stymied when you respond with, “Sorry, it’s not my Christmas.�

This system does not work as well for other holidays. People are picky about their birth dates. Last Late Halloween I was actually accosted by the police for begging, (it works better if you have a kid with you).

By the time I got to the Easter egg hunt many of the  eggs were gone, and the ones that were left were a bit past it. It is also difficult to find good fireworks on the 11th of July.

Somebody is in for a big surprise when our anniversary comes around!

Bill Abrams resides (and mulls over the holidays) in Pine Plains.

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