Owlde Englifh

We have all seen those old documents. In the 18th century they were big on the use of an “sâ€� that looked remarkably like an “f.â€�  Many documents, including our own Declaration of Independence, are full of words like whereaf (whereas) and whofoever (whosoever) making it very difficult to read until you have made the adjustment in your brain to say “sâ€� when you see “f.â€�  This f for s thing seems to have been a style of handwriting… or was it?

Once again we set history on its ear as we challenge the status quo. It is just like the dinosaur/man theory. Remember that until the 1960s we believed that man and dinosaur never coexisted on the planet. Then along came Raquel Welch in “One Million BC� (OK, not actually a man. I think there were men in the movie. It was hard to stay focused.) and it all changed. Well, I think that the evidence has been in front of us the whole time.

Every era has its “cool� speech. The 18th century was no exception. Expressions like “stap me� and “sink me� or overuse of words like “prodigious� were common. Lisping, or should I say lithping, speech was a sign of gentility. It is my theory that they not only wrote f instead of s, but actually pronounced it that way.

We don’t have any voice recordings. We have just assumed. How unfair. The 18th century was all about doing things that were difficult, but not necessarily practical. Some of the music was extremely difficult to play, but was performed to appreciative audiences who applauded the technical ability of the musicians. It didn’t have to be fun or good, it just had to be hard to do, kind of like fly fishing.

    u    u    u

On the other hand it could have been a huge practical joke intended to embarrass Ben Franklin’s crowd. I can just see Tom Jefferson and the guys writing the rough draft of the Declaration, laughing and giggling while drinking ale and perpetrating this hoax. You can’t blame them. The 18th century was a tough time, what with taxation without representation, apoplexy, and periodic bouts of The Bloody Flux, they had to find something funny or they would have died of depression. It did not have to be in good taste, just funny.

I can hear them now. “Hey. I know a good one! Don’t write “whereas.â€�  Let’s see if they are stupid enough to say  “whereaf.â€� Hee! Hee! Hee!â€�

Very amufing.

Bill Abrams resides in Pine Plainf.

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