Login

The Country Curmudgeon

The art of communication

The Country Curmudgeon

The concept of language is mind boggling. How did we ever come up with this? I get certain basics like “Me, Tarzan” or “I want that thing you have.” You can do some of this with grunts, like “Tim the Tool Man” used to do on TV (and still does in syndication).

Full text available to premium subscribers only. Log in or Create an account.

Once you've created an account, you will be given a free 30-day subscription to the site where you can view all content unrestricted. After 30 days, you can extend your account by purchasing a subscription.

If you are already a print subscriber, click here to give us your contact information, and we will confirm your active subscription and give you a password to access the website.

Good car, bad car

The Country Curmudgeon

What makes a car good? It depends. Does it start or doesn’t it? This is the ultimate criteria.
If it starts up every morning, regardless of the temperature, I can forgive a lot. There is nothing more aggravating than a car that does not start reliably. You approach the vehicle with a tight chest and a knot in your stomach. If it doesn’t catch, well, jump-starting a car is simple, right? However, the owner’s manual does seem to indicate that it is possible to explode something if you don’t do it correctly. You might want to read that chapter again.

Full text available to premium subscribers only. Log in or Create an account.

Once you've created an account, you will be given a free 30-day subscription to the site where you can view all content unrestricted. After 30 days, you can extend your account by purchasing a subscription.

If you are already a print subscriber, click here to give us your contact information, and we will confirm your active subscription and give you a password to access the website.

The plastic chef

The Country Curmudgeon

I don’t cook fancy. I do cook. More accurately, I microwave. I really need two of these. Three would be better.
I never had a lesson. Mostly I just read the boxes. At times this slowed me down as I muddled my way through my on-the-job-training, much to the merriment of my mother-in-law, who asked me one day why I had potatoes arranged two-by-two on the counter. Well, the recipe said to used pared potatoes. Now I know why “pared” was misspelled.

Full text available to premium subscribers only. Log in or Create an account.

Once you've created an account, you will be given a free 30-day subscription to the site where you can view all content unrestricted. After 30 days, you can extend your account by purchasing a subscription.

If you are already a print subscriber, click here to give us your contact information, and we will confirm your active subscription and give you a password to access the website.

An actor’s life for me

The Country Curmudgeon

Honest John, the fox, and Gideon, the half-witted cat, sing “An Actor’s Life For Me’” in the Disney cartoon, “Pinocchio,” while tricking the little wooden head into servitude to the evil showman, Stromboli.
Many of us believe that we could do that — act, that is, not trick people into servitude. (Not that tricking people into servitude is not a valuable skill. Ships’ captains and Big Business need this ability).

Full text available to premium subscribers only. Log in or Create an account.

Once you've created an account, you will be given a free 30-day subscription to the site where you can view all content unrestricted. After 30 days, you can extend your account by purchasing a subscription.

If you are already a print subscriber, click here to give us your contact information, and we will confirm your active subscription and give you a password to access the website.

Hi-yo, Silver! Away!

The Country Curmudgeon

I have been enjoying my new Lone Ranger DVDs and am pleased to see that the Internet has recognized that the number-one sidekick of all time is Tonto, coming in ahead of Garth of “Wayne’s World.” In spite of being constantly beat up, defamed, forced to wear bad clothes and treated as a stereotype, Tonto performs his duties faithfully. Many of us have had similar work experiences.

Full text available to premium subscribers only. Log in or Create an account.

Once you've created an account, you will be given a free 30-day subscription to the site where you can view all content unrestricted. After 30 days, you can extend your account by purchasing a subscription.

If you are already a print subscriber, click here to give us your contact information, and we will confirm your active subscription and give you a password to access the website.

Weather or not...

The Country Curmudgeon

Was today a nice day? My answer is almost always yes. It is my considered opinion that, barring life-threatening conditions, like tornadoes and sub-zero cold, any day that we get beats the alternative.
Now I know that many people are not happy when it rains and they cancel the baseball game. Professional players don’t want their personal stats to get messed up by poor playing conditions. This does not enter into football’s concerns. Does this make professional baseball players wusses? Yes, it does.

Full text available to premium subscribers only. Log in or Create an account.

Once you've created an account, you will be given a free 30-day subscription to the site where you can view all content unrestricted. After 30 days, you can extend your account by purchasing a subscription.

If you are already a print subscriber, click here to give us your contact information, and we will confirm your active subscription and give you a password to access the website.